Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she pours gasoline around your car.
I work out ... Just kidding, I take naps.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
The majority of Americans support sending Congress to Syria.
The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.