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The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
"If Donald Duck doesn`t have to wear pants than neither do I!"- Me getting drunk at Disney World.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
There should be a law requiring the cashier to high five you every time you buy a box of condoms.