Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What do sleeping and sex have in common? ... I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Iām so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!