Daily Silly Status

There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.

Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.

FACT: If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.

So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.

You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.

I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.

If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.

I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?

Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL

Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you’re trying to escape?

I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.

Marriage...betting someone half your stuff you`ll love them forever.

My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas cost everywhere.

Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....

There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.