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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
"If Donald Duck doesn`t have to wear pants than neither do I!"- Me getting drunk at Disney World.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?