Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
I was fighting with this gal over who is lazier. I let her win.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
I know u r but what am I ?
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands