Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For Valentine`s Day my wife wanted to.... well, you know. It started with her handcuffing me to the bed. And for three solid hours she watched whatever she wanted on television
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
No officer, my speech isn`t slurred. I`m just talking in cursive.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
Much of my life is a contest to see which of the voices in my head can say the funniest stuff.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.