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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. No, it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can press the snooze button.
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
Go ahead caller 9!!
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
The toughest decision I will make today is bottle or draft.
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!