Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
My only trick for looking younger, is when an 80`s song comes on I try to look completely confused and slightly disgusted.
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house ... I got the outside.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
I`m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.