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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
You know it’s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with… “Are you sitting down?”
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
I decided to make a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number 1: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes?
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
Home is where the pants aren’t.