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Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
The word βfireplaceβ really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
Itβs not that I donβt want kids, itβs just that I donβt want a minivan.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.