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You call it being sober. I call it on my way to the liquor store.
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It`s H2OMG
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? - top 3 things on my mind when I`m in a conversation
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
We have cars that park themselves but I still gotta wave my hand 15 times before a paper towel comes out the dispenser
Grabbed Pizza Roll. Thought "my god that is so hot it`s burning my fingers" and immediately popped it in my mouth ... I`m a goddamn genius.
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers