Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only thing I`m really learning from this 401K meeting at work this morning is that I`ll probably never be able to retire.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
If he pauses a video game to text you, he`s probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.