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Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook