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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
I hate when its dark and my brain is like “Hey you know what we haven’t thought of in a while?” Monsters.
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
Let me drink about it and get back to you.
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
Saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Bruce Lee had a kung fu problem, it`s not a problem if you`re good at it.
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.