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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
I told my wife that I have a sexual satisfaction guarantee policy. If you`re not completely satisfied, we`ll just do it all over again. Guaranteed.
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(