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I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
I read Facebook for the pictures.
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.