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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
My inner child is a drunken whore
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
You really can`t say your laundry is done unless you are completely naked
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
We get it poets: things are like other things
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..