Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer...
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
May your life one day be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
Serving size ?? LMAO
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, "You once told me..."
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?
Apparently I`d rather debate in my mind whether or not to get up and pee than sleep.