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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
That moment when I try and be helpful to a blind man getting off the bus by saying, "watch your step"
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.