Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
Survival rule #1: You go first.
The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it ... I`m gonna miss that baby...
Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
Does this couch Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..