Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
My tombstone will probably say, "Dead, but finally sober".
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
Thanks coffee for tricking us into believing that it`s a good morning for a few minutes.
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."