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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm down.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
If someone doesn`t return your texts, relax and remember they`re probably just busy not liking you.
When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
~WARNING~ I will more than likely offend you at some point in time
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.