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Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
If it requires pants, its not happening today.
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."