Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
I don`t throw anything out anymore I just go to TGI Friday`s once a month and glue more sh!t to the wall, no one notices, try it
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.