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Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.