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If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?