Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
Sometimes I take a bath because it’s hard to drink wine in the shower.
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
My only trick for looking younger, is when an 80`s song comes on I try to look completely confused and slightly disgusted.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.