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If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I`d choke to death swallowing it.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
Guys say that women should come with instructions, but what`s the point. Have you ever seen a man read instructions?
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.