Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
I`m beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
I swear, its like EVERY payday I gotta spend money cause there`s a birthday party to go to, a wedding, a baby shower, a new video game, a new stripper, something. Always something...
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks