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the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
I remember when vodka was just vodka flavored ...
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
Theirye’re, problem solved.
I`m the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I`m ok, I`m ok"
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!