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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
A good lawyer knows the law ... A great lawyer knows the judge.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
Calling your girlfriend beautiful because you forgot her name.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong