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Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
I have off-road rage, too
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Home is where the pants aren’t.
My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed.
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?