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Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
Keep calm and drink on.
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?