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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
I tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
A woman saying "I`m not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won`t feel a thing."
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
It`s no fun if you have permission.
People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling