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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
I`m losing my mind, but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta pee, I should be OK
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
You know you are in trouble when your mom screams your whole name.
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it β€œtomorrow” until I wake up.
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?