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"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
If a 747 can carry a f*cking space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bullsh!t on an overweight baggage charge.
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
My body needs a refresh button.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?