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Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
Well today I turned 26, not because I wanted to, but only because Facebook limits how many times you can actually change your birth year !
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.