Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or I’m about to be murdered.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.