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Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I wake up feeling like a bounced check.
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
Girl:How do u feel? Boy:With your hands
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
She said there`s no difference between turkey bacon and regular bacon, and now I`m supposed to just "forget about it"?
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks