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Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat.
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.