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They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
The real reason I’m not a superhero…. Pockets, I need my pockets.