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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
I really just need a vodka cranberry and a slap on the a$$. Hold the cranberry.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
Life is to short ... to waste time matching socks.