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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
As soon as you think β€œmaybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
If you reach your hand into a woman`s purse, it crosses into a parallel universe containing everything but the one thing you`re looking for.
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.