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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
I wish I was a jedi, but mostly just so I didn`t have to bend over to pick up dog poop.
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"
At least a stalker is there for you.