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On a scale from 0 to insane, I`m Batman!
All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
Why don`t the post office get the Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday? Work smarter not harder people.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.