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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
Dear, automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm.... But I wasn`t finished.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
I got passed by a Prius on the Interstate and now I’m legally required to pee sitting down.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
Every new day means new opportunities... to make mistakes and f*ck things up.
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
life is short play naked
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.