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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Sometimes, when people are talking to me, I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them in the face.
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I don’t even know what that means, but now I’m hungry.
I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said "I saw that"
I hate it when I get too drunk and just kidding I never hate getting drunk!
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It`s odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.