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You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.