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We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
TIP: If cars are passing you on the highway in the LEFT lane, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE RIGHT LANE!
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
My ex-wifes facebook status said "I`m depressed and on the edge"... So I poked her!
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.