Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
When I bang my toe against something, it’s like I pressed a button that plays every curse word I know.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers