Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
I`m changing my voicemail greeting to: Please hang up and text me, thanks. ;)
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
I don`t believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.