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My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
I told my 4-year-old she couldn`t open any candy yet. So she ate a Tootsie Roll with the wrapper still on it. That kid is a problem solver.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
If I ever go missing and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy